Quitter

This is a little bit 'Dear Diary', but I wanted to put out there that I'm trying to quit smoking at the moment and feel pretty darn good about it.

I started smoking when I was 15 (thats 10 years this year) and have tried a few times to stop but have now gone about a month without having a cigarette (I don't like to say the exact number of days; it puts a kind of unnecessary pressure on the whole thing) which is the longest I've ever done.

Usually I start again when I go out for a drink. As soon as I get a glass filled with alcohol in my hand my mind turns to cigarettes. And that's just after the first sip of the first drink. But recently I've been managing to go out, have a drink, and not smoke. It was touch and go on Friday when I had an unlit cigarette in my hand but I just really didn't want it.

One of the great things about having a real go at stopping is the money I've been saving. It's not like I'm flush with cash but my bank balance has been looking healthier.

Another great thing is that I've felt more energetic in the last month. Fortunately this has come at the right time because I've needed to pull some late-nighters due to exams recently.

The best thing about trying to stop, and going this long without a cigarette, though, is the sense of control I've felt. I no longer feel as though my day is dictated by rolling cigarettes and smoking them at regular intervals. My first thought in the morning isn't 'Do I have enough tobacco for today?' or 'Where will I get some smokes later when I run out?' and that feels incredibly good.

I'm not counting any chickens because, as previously mentioned, I've tried to quit a number of times now. This time around, though, I think I've given myself the best chance yet of stopping permanently.